Allow the pain to be your wisest teacher to have the
COURAGE to begin to explore deeper within…
Getting to this point of ‘Where to now, and wondering where to turn to for help can be one of the most terrifying things you face in life and can feel like a death, in itself.
You may be single or partnered and feeling you might as well be single as you have zero connection with your beloved. If you are single, then this may be about ‘Connecting with you and healing the raw wounded aspects’ before calling in the next relationship. Yes, the inner child is within us all as is a KEY to your inner sparkle that makes you YOU-nique.
Whatever your relationship status, each connection is a way of relating to another and how we each relate to one another as our ‘uncut, raw expression’. After all, we are human and we each long for the connection that catches our breath, hearts skip a beat and the fires of passion and sacred waters become ONE. The heart often yearns to give or/and receive love and relationships come with no rule book. Those that are rigid with many rules are becoming ‘outdated and suffocating.’
If you are in conflict you may be doing everything you can to avoid the long-term emotional, relational and future financial consequences that follow separation and divorce.
If you have children, you are terrified of the long-term impact on them, added to that it brings up childhood experiences of abandonment as a child.
This is why the inner child work is vital for both in the relationship.
I often get called a ‘Relationship Magician’, as many are ready to pack up and leave and then re-kindle a relationship with more passionate sex, yes, richer than the honeymoon phase.
I don’t have to convince you; I want you to explore the – EXPERIENCES…
We are evolving as Humans and so too is healthy sexual expression. Imagine, being able to say what you desire without being scolded and to live a life of courage and honesty?
Co-dependence is shifting into Inter-dependence!
Inter-dependence is having the ability to honour your own ship and have room to sail together.
It is not the other's job to make you happy, this is the ultimate ‘Red Pill’ of Radical self-responsibility.’
Co-dependence is being dependent on the other and not having the tools to attend to your own ship, meaning, unable to make choices for yourself. Thinking it is the other's JOB to make you happy and doing everything together. This is not healthy or sustainable.
I am focused on exploring what is ‘healthy and sustainable for each individual, the marriage & the family. This is about re-establishing solid individual foundations for growth and evolution. My success rate is high, and in the event, both chose to step away there is a ‘Relating- reset-PHASE’ we work through together.
This reveals CLARITY on both sides, all to minimise the impact on each individual and especially the children. A New Relationship in two households, and to be a FAMILY. Yes, to be a Family and make decisions as a family, even if the family becomes a blended one. The CORE family is Vital to maintain and the highest level of respect for each individual.
Here are some things to ask yourself.
Do you wonder if any external guidance will help?
Do you find yourself entangled in behaviour that fits into, ‘unacceptable?’
Are you struggling with something that happened in the past?
Are you regularly thinking about leaving, and planning a way out?
Do you say one thing, then do the opposite behind the other's back?
Are you feeling criticised, that you can do nothing right?
Do you feel talked over, unheard and unappreciated?
Are you controlling? Do you like things done your way or the highway?
Do you regularly get disappointed, by your partner?
Has something happened that has made you lose trust?
Are you struggling coming to terms with a recent life change?
Something you may be unaware of with this style of Relational Coaching
Many are unaware of this, but we often attract relationships into our life, that are there to learn and grow from. We may move from one relationship to the next until we choose to settle and make a home with another. Once the honeymoon of passion phase is done, many can get stuck into the day-to-day mundane ‘to-do-jobs’ to running a home with juggling a family. One day, you wake up and wonder who the stranger is, and often sexual attraction has gone. This can be scary and racking your brains to where it all went tits up!
When one person shifts and the other remains the same, then there are bumps and waves. Every relationship has challenges, bumps in the road and at times getting into headlock and conflict with the other. Many couples, I see are disappointed with the other and feeling let down, all the time. The power-struggle dynamic will only see from the individual point of view, and deep down both are wanting the same thing, yet, often speaking very different languages. Until each individual can begin to understand themselves and relate to the other’s emotional needs, then no amount of counseling or coaching will assist.
Here are the 5 Relationship Villains worn in the Relationship.
Controlling your partner
The need to be right
Uncontrolled or unbridled self-expression
Withdrawal or stonewalling
Are you or your partner guilty of any of these?
I bet at least 3 of these are playing out in the Relationship-Dynamic! When there are three playing out, I will bet that the other two are playing out in response, to the other in the relationship. This can look and feel messy and wondering; “Where to begin?”
This is the destructive mess many couples find themselves within. The withdrawal can often be sexual or blocking any loving advances. The retaliation is usually the reckless choices and having an affair.
Is this YOU? Are you playing out any of the above?
The saddening fact is, if you continue without an expert with raw life-experience with ‘real talk’, then you will be heading to get a messy separation/divorce and years of pain.
Did you play out these same behaviour villian patterns in your last relationship?
We cannot stop the above ‘relationship villain behaviours’ until the CAUSE of why they play out is addressed. Awareness plays out in funny ways, and the more aware you become of the behaviour then the more it may play out, and the more you suppress or attempt to stop it, the louder it becomes. There is no hiding from it. All these above behaviour strategies lead to more inner suffering and disappointment. It is a game that when you are locked into it, you will never win, and never get what you want.
I’d love your help, isn’t it expensive?
Selling your home/homes, your cars is more expensive and the final resort. Imagine, having to set up your family post-divorce and all the assets of your net worth divided and everything you have wanted ripped away. Imagine, watching another man living your life, with your children and wife. Is your family not worth fighting for? Many burry their heads in weekend ESCAPE luxuries to attempt to make up for what is feeling empty. Or the shopping sprees on clothes that will never be worn, all out of boredom, and feeling emotionally barren and unsatisfied.
What is the long-term cost of living the double life and lying to those you love and cherish? You can spend months and years in couples’ therapy, with no results and invest into a bottomless pit. I have met international clients that have done exactly this, then they work directly with me and get results.
Imagine the cost of maintenance of supporting your spouse, children and paying for two homes. Yes, I ignite the spark back into your relationship and give you the tools to put out future fires.
Relational Empowerment – attending to your own ship so that you can both learn how to attend to your
Relation-SHIP as a COUPLE & TEAM
Inter-dependence over co-dependence – This is the Evolving Relationship.
Who is this NOT for?
Those unwilling to do the inner work
Those resistant & unwilling to be teachable
An unwillingness to accept change
Not ready to invest in their relationship
The long-term cost of divorce and family separation are huge in comparison. I hear this a lot from clients;
‘We did Couples Therapy for years and nothing shifted except resenting one another. Working with Zoe, we gained clarity, got results and are more emotionally and physically connected than ever.’
If you need help and guidance in your relationship CONTACT ME NOW to see how I can assist you as a couple and as an individual.
Send an SMS – ‘Help with Relationship’
This is Not a free advice line – I may be in a booked session so will ONLY respond via SMS.
+61 404 123269
Turn inner struggles into gifts. It is time to courageously address what is hidden to re-ignite the love & passion in your relationship.